Understanding Behaviour Through Endings and Goodbyes in PBS: Supporting Closure, Loss and Emotional Safety

Positive Behaviour Support requires services to understand how endings and goodbyes affect behaviour. The Positive Behaviour Support knowledge hub supports providers to connect behaviour, communication, proactive support, rights and reduction of restrictive practice.

In specialist services, understanding behaviour through PBS means looking at what happens when activities finish, staff leave shift, family visits end, placements change, keyworkers move on or preferred routines come to a close.

This reflects PBS principles and values, because endings should be handled with dignity, predictability and emotional support. Strong services do not treat distress at endings as difficult behaviour without understanding what the person may be losing in that moment.

Concept Explained Clearly

An ending can be practical, emotional or relational. It may involve finishing a preferred activity, saying goodbye to a visitor, leaving a community setting, ending a phone call, moving from one staff member to another, or coping with a more significant loss such as a staff member leaving the service.

Behaviour linked to endings may include refusal to move, repeated questions, distress, shouting, withdrawal, grabbing objects, blocking doors, self-injury or delayed escalation after the event. In PBS, these behaviours are understood as possible communication about loss, uncertainty, anxiety, attachment, disappointment or difficulty processing change.

Why It Matters in Real Services

When endings are poorly supported, staff may focus only on moving the person on to the next task. They may say “it’s finished” without giving the person time, structure or emotional support. This can make endings feel abrupt and unsafe.

The practical consequences can be significant. Community activities may end in distress, family visits may become difficult, staff handovers may trigger anxiety and placement transitions may become destabilising. Commissioners and CQC will expect providers to evidence that emotional needs are understood and that support is responsive, person-centred and least restrictive.

What Good Looks Like

Strong services demonstrate that endings are planned, communicated and reviewed. Staff know which endings are difficult, what preparation helps, how the person says they are not ready, and what recovery support is needed afterwards.

Good PBS practice makes closure predictable. Staff use visual countdowns, clear transition cues, consistent language, planned goodbye routines, memory supports and realistic alternatives. Providers should be able to evidence how better support around endings reduces escalation and improves emotional security.

Operational Example 1: Ending a Preferred Community Activity

Step 1 – Presenting concern: A person receiving outreach support became distressed when leaving a local café. They refused to stand up, pushed staff away and sometimes shouted near the exit.

Step 2 – Meaning explored: The provider reviewed the café routine and found that staff usually announced the end suddenly when transport was due. The behaviour appeared linked to abrupt loss of a preferred place and limited preparation.

Step 3 – Support approach: Staff introduced a visual countdown, a final-choice routine and a clear next step. The person chose one final activity, such as finishing a drink or taking a photo of the café menu for next time.

Step 4 – Day-to-day delivery detail: Staff gave the first ending cue ten minutes before leaving, then used the same short phrase at five minutes and two minutes. They avoided lengthy negotiation at the door.

Step 5 – How effectiveness was evidenced: Café exits became calmer, shouting reduced and the person returned to transport more consistently. The provider evidenced that predictable closure reduced distress without stopping community access.

Deepening the Understanding: Endings Can Feel Like Loss of Control

For some people, endings are difficult because they involve loss of control. The activity stops, the visitor leaves, the staff member changes or the person must move to something less preferred. If the ending is sudden, the person may not have enough time to process what is happening.

Strong PBS services treat endings as support moments, not just transitions. They ask what the person is leaving, what they are moving towards, whether they understand the next step, and whether the emotional impact needs recovery time.

The related article on seeing behaviour as communication in PBS reinforces why distress at endings should be understood as meaningful information about emotional safety and support needs.

Operational Example 2: Family Visit Endings

Step 1 – Pattern identified: In a residential service, a person became withdrawn and later shouted at staff after family visits ended. The distress often appeared thirty to sixty minutes after relatives left.

Step 2 – Relationship context reviewed: The team recognised that the visit ending was emotionally significant. The person enjoyed family contact but struggled with separation and uncertainty about the next visit.

Step 3 – Support adjusted: Staff worked with family to create a predictable goodbye routine. Before leaving, the family member showed the next planned contact date using a visual calendar and recorded a short voice message for later.

Step 4 – Recovery support: Staff avoided immediate care demands after visits. The person was offered quiet time, a drink and a preferred activity before returning to the evening routine.

Step 5 – Evidence and outcome: Delayed distress reduced, evening routines became calmer and staff records showed shorter recovery time after visits. The provider evidenced that supported endings protected relationships and wellbeing.

Systems, Workforce and Consistency

Endings and goodbyes must be supported consistently. If one staff member prepares the person and another ends activities suddenly, distress may return. Strong services include ending routines in PBS plans, handovers, activity planning, family liaison and supervision.

Managers should review predictable ending points across the service. These may include staff handovers, visitor departures, activity completion, bedtime routines, hospital appointments, day service departures and short break endings. Supervision should explore whether staff rush endings because of rota pressure or transport times.

Operational Example 3: Keyworker Leaving the Service

Step 1 – Service change: A person in supported living became anxious when their keyworker resigned. They asked repeated questions, followed staff and refused some routines when the keyworker was not present.

Step 2 – Emotional impact understood: The provider recognised that the person needed support to understand the ending, not just reassignment to a new worker. The relationship had provided predictability and trust.

Step 3 – Planned goodbye: The leaving keyworker and new keyworker completed joint sessions. A simple social story explained that the keyworker was leaving, who would support next, and what routines would stay the same.

Step 4 – Continuity maintained: The new keyworker used familiar communication routines and kept established check-in times. Other staff used the same explanation when the person asked repeated questions.

Step 5 – Evidence reviewed: Reassurance-seeking reduced over several weeks, routines stabilised and the person began accepting support from the new keyworker. The provider evidenced that planned closure reduced distress during workforce change.

Governance and Evidence

Governance should show how endings are identified, planned and reviewed. Providers should be able to evidence PBS plan updates, activity records, family contact plans, keyworker transition plans, incident reviews, supervision notes and outcome monitoring.

Strong governance connects behaviour to emotional context. Records should show what ended, how the person was prepared, what support followed and whether outcomes improved. This creates a clear line of sight from behaviour to ending-related distress, from distress to support action, and from support action to outcome.

Commissioner and CQC Expectations

Commissioners expect providers to understand endings because they affect emotional stability, relationships, community access and placement resilience. They need assurance that providers can support change without avoidable escalation or unnecessary restriction.

CQC will expect care to be person-centred, responsive and well led. Inspectors may review whether staff understand emotional needs, whether transitions are planned, whether relationships are supported and whether behaviour records lead to learning. Strong services demonstrate that endings are handled with dignity and evidence-led support.

Common Pitfalls

• Ending activities suddenly because staff are focused on time or transport.
• Assuming distress after visits is unrelated because it happens later.
• Using vague phrases such as “another time” without clear follow-up information.
• Failing to plan goodbyes when staff, keyworkers or routines change.
• Moving straight into care tasks after emotionally significant contact ends.
• Recording refusal to leave without analysing loss, control or closure.

Conclusion

Understanding behaviour through endings and goodbyes helps PBS teams see distress in moments of closure, separation and change. Behaviour may communicate loss, anxiety, uncertainty or difficulty moving from something meaningful to something new.

Strong providers make endings predictable, respectful and emotionally supported. They evidence how preparation, goodbye routines, recovery support and consistent staff responses reduce distress and improve quality of life. This gives commissioners and CQC confidence that PBS is practical, relational and person-centred.